What's the big deal about Young Living

In Which You Find Out Smockity Isn’t As Nice As She Wishes She Were

We are going on week four since my husband was laid off, and in case you thought it was all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows here, I thought I'd fill you in on a few of the emotions I go through in a day.

Not  that I'm proud of myself for feeling this way mind you, and almost every day I feel like a great big bawl baby because I know there are so many people going through real, gutwrenching heartache and my little problems are only a drip compared to their great sea of despair.

Nevertheless, the feelings come, and I wish I could say I was wise enough and strong enough to push them away, but that just isn't true.

  • Self Pity - I feel sorry for myself and wonder why this is happening to us.
  • Anger - I feel angry that this is happening. Angry at people who complain about their jobs, angry at gas prices, angry at the economy.
  • Shame - I'm ashamed that we have to take food from the church pantry. I'm ashamed that I am angry.
  • Worry - I feel sure that there is no way we are going to make it.
  • Exhaustion - I feel overwhelmed with all the analyzing and scrutinizing that goes into everyday decisions. For instance, if we need milk, should we use the gas to go to the store to buy it today? Or do we wait until we go in to church to pick it up? Everything seems extra complicated.
  • Defensiveness- I feel the need to explain if someone I know sees that I have a Starbucks frappuccino. (I used a gift card.)
  • Guilt - I feel guilty about these feelings. Guilty that I worry.

I realize these feelings don't make sense and that I shouldn't feel defensive, for instance, about using a gift card to buy a frappuccino.

I do believe that God will care for all of our needs, but I also know that sometimes God cares for the needs of his people with locusts and wild honey, and here's the thing, I don't care for eating crickets.

So, now you know the cold, hard truth. I'm not as nice as you thought I was.

And I'm biased against eating insects.

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How We Are Keeping Busy During the Layoff

There is a lot of waiting during a layoff. Waiting for an opportunity. Waiting for an office to open. Waiting for a call back.


Staying busy and being productive have helped us to cope. At least we feel like we are planning for the future in some small way during this uncertain time.

Here we are preparing a plot of land our sweet neighbors have generously said we could garden.

One of the blessings of having Daddy home is being able to spend time working with him.

Lots of space for planting!

Here is our girl taking a break to listen to a story of the time in 1937 when our neighbor got in big trouble because he caught his brand new corduroy britches on fire right here on this very land.

One of the things that has helped us tremendously in keeping our spirits up is to focus on our blessings. We have been on the receiving end of many comments, emails, handwritten letters, gifts, phone calls, and prayers. It seems repetitive to say, but I will say it again.

We are simply overwhelmed with the goodness of God and the kindness of friends.

Here is a note I got in the mail from a sweet friend I have never met who heard about our layoff.This made my day! Thank you, Emma!

If you are going through a layoff:

  • Make sure your friends know what you are going through. They may be able to help out with your needs, encourage you, and pray for you.
  • Focus on the blessings you still have. Look around. Is your family healthy? Do your friends still love you?
  • Find something productive to keep you busy while waiting. What can you do that might be a blessing to others?

If you have gone through a layoff, what have you found to be helpful while waiting?

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To Wives of Unemployed Husbands ~ by Mr. Smockity

Dear Ladies,

This is my attempt at explaining what is going on in the head of a man who has lost his job and how his wife can best support him.

I was oblivious. Sure, I knew the economy had hurt our balance sheet and that things were not perfect, but I had no idea they were to the point I was going to lose my job. One moment I’m walking into a meeting that’s been rescheduled three times (surely no meeting discussing the loss of your job would be rescheduled) and the next I’m hearing things have gotten bad. Not a death sentence. Might be salvaged. Meet again in 3 days and take some time off until then.

Three days later, it's: "Here is your severance. No way to salvage the job. You are a good man, best of luck, adios."

I was defensive, and my mind raced 90 to nothing with reasons why this should not be happening. I was angry. I played many scenarios out in my head, and I was not the villain in any of them. I was in shock. (I did not eat for 36 hours and I slept probably 24 of the first 48 hours). I was ashamed. How could I — with so many people at home depending on me — be without a job? How could I face people? What was I to say?

I felt inadequate, a complete failure, totally defeated. Though there were many reasons for the layoff I had no control over, the bottom line is I had not made myself valuable enough to be kept.

I was worried, fearful of the future. How would I support my family? Could we keep our house? And what was my wife going to say? I had told Connie of the first meeting as soon as I arrived home. All these things were going through my head in the 20 minutes it took to get home from the second meeting.

Every day I experience most of these emotions at some point or another. Along with these come anger at myself and everyone else, frustration and helplessness over having no control, and a feeling of being "less than". Less than I was, less than I want to be, less than I should be, Less than!

Ladies I promise you, if your husband is without work, he is experiencing most of what I am. He may never admit it, but he is feeling it.

I am Blessed. I have a Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who loved me while I was still a sinner; He loved me for who I am, not my job. He tells me to cast my burdens upon him because he cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7)

I am Blessed. I have a wife who loves me, a wife who is just as scared as I am, just as worried as I am. And yet she jumps in asking how we can make it work and plans accordingly.

She encourages instead of berates (not an easy thing in today’s culture).

She makes me feel she trusts and believes in me.

Ladies, a man can do much more with a wife who believes in him than he can ever do with a wife who despises him.

I hope you never find yourselves in my wife’s position. But if you do, remember your husband is beating himself up already. He does not need your help doing that. He needs your help in believing in himself, in seeing something good in the mirror, in feeling you look at what he can be, not what he is not.

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How to Survive a Layoff: Our Plan of Action

Hey, remember when you used to watch Family Ties for kicks and grins and then there was that one episode out of the blue when Alex P. Keaton's friend was killed in a car accident?

And you were all, "Dude. Bummer. That wasn't funny at all."

Okay, this post is a lot like that.

My husband lost his job last week.

So, after walking around for a better part of the weekend looking like this

except when I managed to look like this, and thereby (I believe) TOTALLY fooling the cashier at Walmart into thinking I could afford that toilet paper

we are beginning to put together a plan of action, and here are the things we have come up with:

The most immediate need is to pay our mortgage.

We do not want to lose our house, so we will make cutbacks in every possible area that will allow cutbacks: electric bills, grocery budget, extra curricular activities.

What God will do:

  • God has said he will supply all our needs, that we needn't worry about what we will eat or drink or wear because he cares for us. We believe. (Matthew 6:25-27)

What we will do:

"Life is hard. It's even harder when you're stupid." -John Wayne
  • It is imperative that we not make any foolish mistakes during this time. No more overdue library books, late fees, or speeding tickets.
  • No more chips, soft drinks, or cereal. This will be particularly hard on a certain Smockity who is addicted to Dr. Pepper, especially Vanilla Dr. Pepper on Sonic ice, but sacrifice we must. We will drink water, snack on homemade caramel corn, and eat baked oatmeal or homemade rice cereal for breakfast.
  • All piano lessons, gymnastics, church camps, vacations, and pool memberships will be halted until further notice. Yes, we are all sad about this. We think each of these things is beneficial, but we think keeping our house is more important than all of them right now.
  • No air conditioning until the indoor temperature reaches 89. We will be sweating more than ever this summer and I mean that in both the figurative and literal senses. (By the way, Dear Children, we all know it is hot. No need to proclaim it every 15 minutes.)
  • No more clothes dryer. According to research, the clothes dryer uses 50% of all the electricity in the average household, so we will be using a clothes line. And won't we look quaint doing it?!
  • More meatless or less-meat meals. My Madison has taken it upon herself to do the meal planning and we have agreed that we can be happy eating beans and rice, beans and cornbread, beans and noodles, beans and mashed potatoes, beans and MORE beans.
  • I'll be using Swagbucks to buy household items like laundry detergent and dish soap, or birthday gifts when necessary. (Sign up for free stuff of your own!)
  • My husband and son are inquiring into starting an early morning paper route. Some friends who have been in this very same predicament of sudden unemployment have told us that they made $2000/mo, after deducting gas costs, doing a paper route. While gas is high right now, we figure they can make a dent in our bills by doing this until my husband finds a permanent job. (Oh, by the way, son... you're starting a paper route. Kay, thanks!)

What we will NOT do:

  • Lose our faith in God. We will "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. In all our ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make our paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5)
  • Put the kids in school and daycare so I can go back to work. For us, this is a matter of conviction and faith. We feel that my place is in the home, caring for and teaching the children. I will do everything in my power to support my husband and earn what money I can from home.

What YOU can do:

  • Please, pray for us. We are in uncharted territory, and I don't mind saying it is difficult to remember not to worry. In 26 years of marriage, this has never happened to us, and I truly never thought it ever would.
  • If you are planning to order something from Amazon, I will make a few dollars if you use my affiliate link. As of right now, this li'l ole blog is our only source of income, and every little bit will help.
  • I usually make enough revenue from the ads on my sidebar to pay the electric bill and buy a few groceries. Since that revenue is based on my traffic, I would love it if you shared with your friends any post you have found encouraging or useful. Maybe you know someone who would benefit from my homeschool posts or kid friendly crafts? Sharing it on your Facebook wall or your blog would greatly help us out! And if you grabbed and shared one of these Smockity buttons that my awesome friend, Joy, from Five J's, made you would be my best friend forever!

While I would LOVE it if this unemployment only lasted a very short time, we are buckling down and bracing for a long term period of bare bones expenditures, so I will be making this into a weekly series.

Have you ever been through a period of unemployment? What would you like to see me address next week?

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