As you probably have guessed, it's always something here at Smockityville. I mean, really, when you have yourself 8 kids, it's pretty much expected that you're going to hit the ground running every day and keep going until bedtime.
So, last week was one of those, "WHIIIiiiiiiyyyyy do these things always happen to me???" weeks.
Here's how it went down.
My 12yo decided after much angst, debate, and thought, that she would like to spend every scrap of money in her savings account to buy 2 goats at a local auction for the purpose of showing at stock shows around the state.
Now, she had money in her savings account to begin with because of her success with showing animals, so she knew she could make her money back.
Possibly, that is. Because last year she didn't do as well as the year before. And one year we even had a goat that dropped dead of unknown causes before we were able to show him, so that was a total loss.
Just so you know how much money there is to be made, the top goat at the above auction went for $3,100!
So, after a long day of checking out the stock, feeling the stock, eyeballing the stock, and evaluating the stock, she finally won 2 goats with her bids, and she paid for them, and we carted them home.
To what we thought was a secure pasture.
Two days later, we awoke to discover they were nowhere to be found. Those rascals had escaped!
Now, normally if a goat we had owned for a few weeks were to escape, we wouldn't be panicked about it, because it would show up again around feeding time. But these goats were brand new to us, so they didn't know their pasture as "home" yet. Plus, they cost a pretty penny, and we were all imagining them dead on the highway or 15 miles away in some stranger's field!
So we took off trekking through the woods and adjacent pastures, with ropes in hand, looking for them.
When we finally found them, there was the matter or catching them. Remember, they weren't used to us, being brand new, so of course they darted and bolted and dashed any time we came within a hundred yards.
Have you ever tried to catch a wild goat in a neighbor's wide open pasture? Or in a woody thicket, for that matter?
Much more difficult than you might imagine.
I'm going to save you from the many and sundry descriptions of tackling, wrangling, and wrestling, but trust me. There was much of it.
So, we finally caught them about a mile from our house, and then came the hard work. Dragging them back home. Don't forget they were wild. Unruly.
They bucked and resisted the. Entire. Way. Home.
I briefly tried carrying one, but that didn't work. See bucking and resisting above.
All told, we got them back in their places after much panting, heaving, sweating, and straining.
And then I realized I had precisely 20 minutes to
brush the dust off change my shirt and catch the stray kitten the kids talked me into taking home from the parking lot at church to get him to the vet for some vaccinations and de-worming.
That's when it occurred to me that there are people who actually pay for memberships at places where folks would taunt them into doing these sorts of things for the sole purpose of building muscles.
So, if any of you reading this would like to build muscles in a cardio workout, I know just the place you could do it. Videos available soon.
Now, I have to run.
The goats got out again.