."..older women ... urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands..." (Titus 2: 3-5)
Occasionally I hear something along the lines of, "Why aren't there more older women teaching the younger women? Where are all the Titus 2 women?" I have even said these things myself when I was wishing for instruction or encouragement from someone who has gone before me on this mothering journey.
Well, I think I know where they are.
Recently a good friend of mine, who I have hugged, shared meals with, prayed for and with, a mother of 11, who is a popular blogger with over 4000 subscribers, faced criticism for knowing too much, doing it too well, and daring to write about it.
The woman has 11 children. She knows a thing or two about pretty much anything and everything home or family related. Thousands wait each day to receive her email updates.
Let's call this lady's blog, "Bringing Up Babies", and let's say she was asked 3 times over the period of one month how she keeps her kitchen floor clean.
To answer her reader questions, "Bringing Up Babies" lists the steps she takes to keep her floor sparkly clean and even posts before and after photographs. She speaks from experience and shares the tips she has learned through having 11 children and spending numerous years of cleaning up messes.
But there are people who read "Bringing Up Babies" who have dirty floors, and seeing those shiny, clean floors makes them feel bad about their own.
Those people are faced with several choices in dealing with their dirty floors and bad feelings.
- Start using the tips on "Bringing Up Babies" to make their own floors cleaner.
- Stop comparing themselves to "Bringing Up Babies".
- Stop reading "Bringing Up Babies".
- Call "Bringing Up Babies" a know-it-all and a braggart for having such clean floors.
Does one of these options seem self centered and irrational?
You see, "Bringing Up Babies" doesn't keep her floor clean or share how she manages to do so just to make herself feel superior to someone who doesn't. She doesn't do it to make those with dirty floors feel less competent than she is. What she does with her floors isn't about anyone outside of her home. She does it to bless her family, and she shares it on the internet to bless those who would like to do so to their own families.
A mature person understands that most people are so busy with their own lives, that they are not comparing or competing with anyone else. A mother of many is busy. And tired. She most likely doesn't have time to play the comparison game. And if she takes the time to share her knowledge and experience with others, it is because she is using her precious, limited time to help them.
If you read "Bringing Up Babies" and are offended because you think it is all about you, the problem is with you, not "Bringing Up Babies".
If you are wondering where all the Titus 2 women are, it is a good possibility that one is sitting next to you with her trap shut because you don't want to hear what she has to say.
The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)