What's the big deal about Young Living

10 Signs Your Child Might Be Spoiled and What To Do About It

In my post, "Are Your Kids Spoiled?" I got several comments and emails wondering what exactly makes a kid spoiled and what parents can do about it.

I have made some observations in my 8 years of teaching in the public schools, 17 years of parenting 8 children, and 12 years of being involved in homeschool groups.

Before you tell me I'm judging you, let me remind you that I don't even know you. I don't see the interactions with your children in your home, and I don't know what your goals and ideals are.

I am, however, judging behaviors and attitudes that I have seen to be destructive. Some of these I have seen in my own home, and we are working to correct them.

Here are 10 signs your child might be spoiled:

  • If your child can count on you to change your "no" by employing whining, pouting, crying, or tantrums, he might be spoiled.

It is human nature to want to get your way and set about trying to get it. It has happened that I have told my children that they may not have a new toy, extra cupcake, sleepover, or whatever it is they want, and they have cried or whined about it. If I relent and change my no to yes so they will stop the whining, I am making them spoiled.

  • If your child expects a reward for serving others, he might be spoiled.

You may have noticed this in action when 2 teens in the youth group sign up for feeding the homeless in the slums of your town as opposed to 27 who sign up for the "mission trip" to Orlando, Florida. I believe it develops the character of children to require that they regularly serve others with no compensation or special recognition. Daily chores that benefit the whole family, not just care for the child's own personal needs, accomplish this nicely.

  • If your child gets angry when corrected, he might be spoiled.

This is painfully obvious when homeschooling, because there are many necessary corrections that the parent must point out to the child each day. Explain to the child, "I am telling you 2x2 does not equal 6 because I want you to be smart and capable. Getting angry when I correct you is foolish."

Proverbs 22:15 "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child..." If you want to know how to rid your child of it, read the rest of that verse. Proverbs 12:1 "He who hates correction is stupid."

Hey, I didn't make these up. I'm just reporting them.

  • If your child pouts or gets angry when not the center of attention he might be spoiled.

When it is another child's birthday party, don't get your child a gift. This only encourages him to believe that he is always deserving of attention and gifts. Children need to know that sometimes it is someone else's turn to be in the spotlight.

  • If your child believes rules don't apply to him, or if he constantly expects boundaries or rules to be changed to meet his demands, he might be spoiled.

If the sign says, "No food or drink" make your child leave his food or drink elsewhere. The sign applies to everyone. It doesn't matter how thirsty he is.

  • If your child does not accept responsibility for his actions and blames others when things don't go his way, he might be spoiled.

I have participated in a conversation in which a child blamed not being able to locate her shoes on a strict bed time.

Mom: "You should have put your shoes away when you took them off. You will have to look for them."

Child: "I would have put them away if you hadn't made me go to bed. It's not my fault I can't find them."

Mom: "You could have put them away at any time. It is your fault. Next time put them where they belong and this won't happen."

Place the responsibility where it belongs.

  • If your child is offended that his requests are not granted when he says "please", he might be spoiled.

My children know that I expect them to use good manners, but they also know that saying "please" is no guarantee that they will get what they want. Don't be afraid to say "no" if it is for the best, even if your child has said "please".

  • If your child can not wait and expects to be served immediately upon making a request known, he might be spoiled.

If I am changing a diaper or milking a goat or driving the van, my children know they must wait for whatever it is they want. It is good practice to require your child to wait for things.

  • If your child gets angry when you won't do things for him that he is capable of doing himself, he might be spoiled.

This is in reference to things you know for certain are not beyond the physical or mental capabilities of your child. Here is an example of how this played out in our family recently:

Mom: "Get your car seat buckled up."

4yo: "I want you to do it. I caaaaaaan't."

Mom: "Yes, you can. You are strong and smart. Buckle it up."

4yo: "No, I can't. I'm too tired. It's too hot. I caaaaaaaan't. I want you to do it."

Mom: "I am going to count to 20 in my head. If you are not buckled up by the time I am done, I will come back there, and you will not be glad about it." (Mom begins humming cheerily while child frantically buckles up.)

4yo: "I DID IT!"

Mom: "Good! See how strong and smart you are?"

Notice how I did not say "please" or "thank you." This is not because I am against good manners. It is because I am against begging and pleading my children to do favors for me.

  • If you are afraid to violate any of the above statements because you know your child will have a meltdown, he might be spoiled.

If you find yourself reluctant to displease your child by demanding anything of him, you know there is a problem. Strengthen your resolve, put some steel in your backbone, and put on your big girl panties. You are training your child up in the way he should go. This is serious business. Do not let these things slide.

Lest you think I am being too harsh, look around you. Do you see adults who are self centered and manipulative? They got that way from a lifetime of being spoiled.

That is not "the way he should go," so don't train him to go there. Your child deserves better.

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  1. Jennifer Haddow says:

    I’ll add a subset to #9 – if you think they should be able to do it, but has not yetdone it by themselves, you should make them try before doing it for them. Example: I want my almost 9-year old son to learn to fix his own breakfast. He wants me to do it for him. I stand in the kitchen and give him verbal direction (and sometimes a physical example) for scrambling eggs and toasting bread.

    He is whining the whole time. I tell him if he wants to eat, he will have to do it himself. Does it take more time than doing it myself? Of course, but I don’t care. He should begin learning the basics in the kitchen so that one day he can take care of himself (and maybe a wife and kids someday).

  2. spoiled mom of spoiled kids says:

    I don’t think my kids are as spoiled as most but it was a little painful to read some of these. Will your next post be about how to un-spoil them?

    • If you read the examples above, the instructions are written below many of the bullet points. If you’re giving in when they whine, stop giving in…….pretty straight-forward. Good luck.

  3. So since we’re FB friends, you saw my 11th addition for this one. I thought I’d drop it here too :) Great post as always!

    If your child expects a trophy or medal for doing basic things in life, they might be spoiled.

    Enough of that one already too! Give them encouragement, of course. However, giving them more than they truly deserve all the time makes them feel inadequate when they don’t receive something. Or, even worse, they may start to make excuses for why they didn’t get an award in turn making other kids feel bad because they did win something.

  4. Amen.

    If we had a bit more parental direction, maybe we’d have fewer “entitlement issues” with the “spoiled part” of our population.

  5. AAAAA-MEN! I read the original article too…and shared it on my pages. I loved that it was written from a secular point of view, because it is a real problem in our culture, and I was so glad to see it addressed beyond the Christian community.

    I recently wrote a post on raising teens for the Marathom Mom. I think it coincides nicely with what you’ve written…and illustrates the type of results we see in the teen years when our kids haven’t been spoiled in their younger years.

  6. Advice, please! How do you properly discipline a just-turned two year old for things like: hitting a younger sibling, throwing food on the floor, yelling in the house, etc. I know he is still young, but I do not want him continue these behaviors and what I have tried does not work. Anyone who has been here, what did you do?

    • Hi!

      I’m dealing with this in my precocious one and a half year old right now :) I just wanted to encourage you that, at this age, it is also a normal stage, and sometimes no amount of dicipline in this circumstance will change things, only the childs realisation that there are better ways (coupled with less frustration as they learn more language etc). Displaying these behaviours at two is something to be dealt with for sure, we can’t let it slide, but it’s not a sign of a spoilt child quite yet. If they’re still doing it at 4 then you have a problem! :)

      We use a smack on the hand but, honestly, with the force that I’m comfortable using at this age half the time she dosen’t care and acts out in anger even more determined to do what I told her not to, so right now we’re only using it when dealing with a dangerous thing. She knows what ‘no’ means, and for her, that seems to be enough right now. If she throws a complete, lie on the floor and scream tantrum (I thought she was supposed to be two before she did that!) it’s straight into the cot until she calms down (which results in her now ONLY doing that at the shops or playgroup or church… that’s a whole other issue, since spanking is, here in Australia, illegal in some states and on the verge of being illegal in the rest. I have to be extremely careful about how I dicipline her in public, because if I traveled just an hour south I could be charged with child abuse just for smacking the back of her hand. Oh the state of the world these days… ). I think at this age it’s also a fine balance between dicipline and expectations, and helping the child to find other ways to express themselves. The problem is, I think a lot of the cause of this is a lack of words to express how they feel. I don’t know about your child but mine is obviously frustrated (Mostly because she’s 16 months and trying to do what a 2/3 year old does!) and most of her misbehaviour is motivated by frustration and immaturity (Maybe she’s hitting a sibling because they were ignoring her or didn’t do what she wanted but couldn’t express, and she expects them to read her mind, for example.)

      Keep perservering momma, this is a hard age because dicipline just dosen’t have the same understanding or effect that it will in a couple of years.

      • Laura,
        The best strategy I’ve found for some of what you’re describing came from my best friend. When a child makes or causes a mess that he/she is not capable of cleaning, sit the child near you or on your lap. He has to stay there and watch you clean up. This is most effective if other children are doing something much more entertaining! As the child complains, remind him that this is work for Mama that Mama didn’t plan on doing that day. Since Mama can’t have fun right now, you can’t have fun right now. At your child’s age, it only takes a few times before he realizes that chucking food on the floor is not going to be worth the 5 seconds of pleasure.

    • Consistency is more important at this age than exactly what you do. You can put them in time out, give them a little swat, say a firm no while holding their hands together and then immediately switch to a different activity . . . it all depends on exactly what the behavior is and what you are comfortable with. It won’t “work” in the sense that they will stop after a few days because of your great parenting. Their little brains are developing and they aren’t always capable of controlling those impulses. But so long as you aren’t rewarding them (“Oh isn’t he cute?”) or ignoring them because he’s the baby, he will learn the boundaries over time and his two year old attempts at independence won’t seem so bad looking back on them.

  7. This is awesome.

  8. We’ve been fighting the “you can do this yourself” thing this week! Granted, my lo just turned 2 :-) But it took 30 minutes of us sitting in the bathroom before she finally got bored enough to put her underwear on herself (and yes,
    I know that she was perfect capable of doing it, once she stopped whining, it took her <1 min to actually put them on). Luckily for me, I can put together a weekly menu in my head so I didn't find the time nearly as boring as she did.

  9. Marilyn says:

    LOVED this article! So much different from the mainstream wishy-washy parenting “advice” I see out there! Brats are RAMPANT in our society. Parents no longer actively “parent”. Parents listen to the advice of “experts”, and ignore bad behavior in order to be a child’s “friend”, or because they think the child’s misbehavior is “cute” (it isn’t). I have nine children, ages 5-32. They range from gifted to severe special needs. NONE have acted up in public (okay, just once or twice–same kid), or whined to get what they wanted. It doesn’t happen because I would never tolerate it and they know it! The very idea is ludicrous! I am not Supermom, by any means. But I don’t have any patience for poor behavior, and I do not do anything for my kids that they are capable of doing for themselves–or others. We do our children no favors by allowing them to act in ways that would not be socially acceptable, or would not be desirable traits in a functional adult. One thing to watch out for, though. Food is VERY powerful. VERY. If your child has unpredictable behaviors, appears not to hear you, is not affected by punishment, and repeats behaviors you have told him not to–or he displays ANY physical, behavioral, or educational issues you find puzzling, changing his diet might help. It did for us! We have been doing the Feingold diet here for almost 10 years, and it worked a miracle with two of my children–one of whom was already “labeled”, and another one who would have been. Before Ritalin and psychiatrists, please do yourself a favor and check out the Feingold diet! http://www.feingold.org

  10. It’s weird, Smockity – almost like you recently read my mind & then started your series on spoiling kids.
    Hubby & I have recently come to realize that having kids who are “not as spoiled as most of the others we know” isn’t exactly what we want for our children. (It IS a great way to let ourselves off the hook, but that’s bad, right?) I guess we both got tired & distracted. We let a thing slide here, and something else slide there… and before we knew it, we were living with a couple of lazy, demanding little trolls!
    We’ve seen a few of these things come up recently, even to the point that my 9yo asked, “are you going to reward me?” after I thanked him for carrying an empty laundry hamper up the stairs for me! We are seriously tightening the reigns & expecting more of our kids – not without a fight – but slowly (very slowly) we are seeing improvement.

  11. LOVE this!!! And fee-yooo my kids don’t meet any of those- I was a little worried!! 😉

  12. Love this! Great stuff to be reminded of! Thanks for posting this!

  13. Thanks for the reminders, Connie! Seems like a week or two into summer break I noticed all the things I have let slide with my boys during the year when things are so busy. I am especially going to focus in on having them do more for themselves that they are capable to do on their own.

  14. Thank you, Connie!! Great article!! I am a mother of 9, grandmother of 4 and I could not agree with you more!! New subscriber here :)

  15. This is great advice. I have one who constantly wants things done for him that he can do for himself. Things are improving slowly. For parents who struggle with feeling “bad” about disciplining or expecting more from your kids, here are 2 questions I find helpful: “would an employer want to hire/keep someone who acted like this?” and “would I want to be married to this?” Parents need to keep in mind that not everyone who interacts with their child, especially in adulthood, will love that child more than itself. Behaviour that a boss or spouse wouldn’t tolerate shouldn’t be tolerated by a parent, either.

  16. Elizabeth says:

    My oldest falls into alot of these catigories. We have 8 kids and NONE of the others regularly struggle in these areas but my daughter is something else. I am over whelmed with how to deal with her. We have never set her apart from the other kids yet she thinks she is queen of the house. She is 11 and we have seen these behavoirs strongly in her sense she was about 5/6 years old. Any addvice? My feelings don’t get hurt easily so don’t sugar coat it :-) Thanks!

    • Elizabeth,

      I would, as Marilyn stated above, look into her diet, especially if, as you say, you do not treat her any differently. Look at some of the testimonials on the Feingold website (www.feingold.org), read some of the scientific studies. We have been on the Feingold program for 6 yrs and I have a couple of my children who display these symptoms if — and only if– they have eaten off diet.

      And then there is my oldest who will try to pull this after she’s hung around with certain friends for too long. We seriously limit the time she spends with these friends and have a “talk” before and after she is with this friend. If the behavior emerges then she, 1) looses her iPod (a gift from my brother, I would not have bought such a thing), 2) loose all access to friends (if you can’t behave right at home, I’m not sending you out in public to be a spoiled brat), and 3) earn extra chores so we learn that the world does not revolve around the preteen. — These are effective strategies *unless* she has eaten off diet, then nothing works.

      • Elizabeth says:

        These behavoirs are very strong after hanging out with friends. She has lost the privilege to see her friends many times, along with every other privilege at times. We also will give out extra chores for bad behavoir. They need something else to do when everything has been taken from them. heehee I never thought about the food side of things. I’ll have to look into that. Thanks!

    • Barbara Abner says:

      Elizabeth, My older sister has this same attitude. I believe we, ( three younger girl siblings ) had a lot to do with why she thinks and acts to this day, that she she superior. She always got to do everything first, she was oldest. She truly possessed the most beauty. We ( the three younger siblings would do anything she asked.) We would watch her like she was a God, she could do no wrong even if she was disobedient. Long story short, we grew up, got married all had children, now grandchildren and her life is a mess. Her husband left her after 33 yrs. of marriage, ( beauty is almost all gone.) Her two kids have been in and out of prison, her grandchildren hate her and she is now addicted to prescription meds. and wants to take her own life. She just called me the other day and in tears she is asking me ( the third daughter ) why! After several attempts to answer this question I finally said, I guess because it is not about us.

  17. The one about expecting a reward really does bug me… The number of teens lining up for mission trips and putting on community concerts and helping out with the sunday school and other places that they can be ‘seen’ and, really, bring glory to themselves, is huge. If they can get credit for what they do, and it looks fun to do, they are lining up to do it ‘in the name of serving God’. At the same time, we have a thrift store that is entirely run by 70+ year old women, a food bank program run by one retired couple, and almost no one under the age of 35 showing up to the church reconstruction. The teens love to play with the little kids during and after church, which is usually counter-productive, and yet the concept of a mothers helper during the week is completely lost (I would pay if I could find a girl willing to take on the role! Lord knows I would benefit greatly from it!)

    Basing your life around a ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude is a poor foundation for life, especially since I’m sure they just expect the older people will be there to do the ‘dirty jobs’ to help them when they need it.

    • Your right.. A what’s in it for me attitude is very poor foundations. However, I wonder how many more teens would present themselves available to help out in food banks, thrift stores and church reconstructions if parents were also involved. As in a more ‘family orientated ministry’ modeled by behavior.
      How much of these behaviors are modeled by parents with a what’s in it for me attitude. There are many areas teens can serve to be seen such as joining the worship team..
      How many available places are there for teens to join and serve and how many are made known to them?
      Me personally.. Would have loved to serve in a soup kitchen (rare in Australia – where I’ve lived) but there was never an opportunity to do so.
      Now as a parent I want to SHOW my children HOW to serve others in a practical way. But opportunities are fairly slim.. Especially with very little children.
      I’d love to read posts about how parents encourage their offspring to serve others out of love and compassion for others.. Without recognition and reward 😉

      • Amy,
        One thing we’ve done is sponsor children as a family through Compassion. Then, every week, my daughter would put aside 10% for “sharing” (tithe) and when she had enough, I would take her to the dollar store to choose some paper items to send to one of the little girls. My daughter also wrote letters to her and prayed for her. Samaritan’s purse also collects shoeboxes for operation Christmas child every year. You can watch videos online, and then let your kids use some of their own money to purchase gifts for the boxes. You can also visit the elderly in a retirement home. Local regulations prevent us from having children serve in a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.

    • Oh boy, you hit on that one well. The older girls in our church fellowship are all the time traipsing around the world on missions things here or there. But, at everyday Sunday fellowship, none of them are even outside watching their younger siblings…let alone someone else’s. We recently asked for some help for a young couple with a very sick baby, and no one would help. But, they’ll sure run off to South America any time big daddy wants to buy that plane ticket. So not right!

  18. Loved it!

    We are in a time where we are struggling with our oldest right now – she’s got a serious case of the ‘I can’t’ and it is driving me a little crazy. But in her case, it’s not so much being spoiled as it is a result of years of much tension and stress in our family environment that she needs time to heal from.

    Meanwhile, I’m diligently working on helping her through this and am happy to report that I am doing the job much as you seem to be, and your children are a marvelous collection of cheerful and unspoiled treasures, are they not? 😉

  19. By nature, we are spoiled & self centered – I think the key for us as parents is teaching them by example … because honestly we probably fail at that stuff too, just on a different level.

    I know I’ve been told “no” at a check out counter, return line, or by my Cable company & I’ve immediately started with reasons why they should say yes (aka whining). People get frustrated every day at the drive thru or with our waiter that makes us ‘wait’ longer than we think we should. And just go to a carpool line at school & you’ll see moms every day that seem to think “rules don’t apply to them”.

    So I think we should often look at our own behavior & change that first … then the parenting will follow suit.

    • I could not agree more! Well said mandi! Thank you for pointing out that the reason that a lot of our kids “act out” is because they see how we (their parents) act in situations. Do you loose your temper in the car and start yelling at the driver in front of you (guilty)? Not much different than a child’s tantrum. Do you yell at your spouse in front of your kids when you are not getting your way (guilty)? Do you ignore certain rules because you don’t think they apply to you (guilty)? You’re kids aren’t stupid. They pick up on EVERYTHING! Lead by example and your kids will follow.

    • Smockity Frocks says:

      I do agree that we, as parents, should strive toward perfection. Until we reach that, though, we still have to correct foolish behavior in our children.

      If we wait until we are perfect before we correct any misbehavior in children, that will never happen.

      • Oh, I’m definitely not saying we should wait … we just shouldn’t be so surprised;).

        • For sure! No waiting going on here! I’m constantly correcting my kids behavior. But Lord knows I’m not and never will be perfect….and neither will my children. Mommy has to ask for forgiveness…a lot. And I expect the same from my children when they blow it.

    • I agree, Mandi! By doing so (changing our own behavior as adults), we recognize our own “humanness” and need for grace and are better equipped to offer grace to our children as we also offer instruction. Also, raising our children offers us the chance as parents to grow, to improve ourselves, and this blessing in return offers us the chance to improve how we correct and parent our kids. We are learning together, parents and kids.

      Diane Hopkins, another mom of a large homeschooling family talked about teaching while maintaining relationships here, for anyone interested.

      Thanks, Smockity, for drawing attention to an important topic: don’t let things slide or you and your child will live to regret it. Good reminder.

  20. Very good compilation, thank you for sharing this. My 4 kids and I have all struggled with different points in this list at some time or another. Knowing to expect it helps a lot in handling it well as the parent and being prepared to take a day and “nip it in the bud” has helped us get a good foundation but I find we regularly need to come back, reevaluate and shore up where we’ve slacked.

  21. and the number one reason this matters? Kids who have been spoiled have a hard time relating to God/ growing spiritually. Being a Christian means walking in humility, submitting to God’s authority and plan for your life, and putting other’s needs in front of your own. All things that come REALLY hard for the teen or adult who has been spoiled!

  22. rileigh says:

    LOL. My son has been having some issues with the “I caaaan’t” wether it be dressing himself, in the bathroom, or with his seatbelt. He will be 5 in 2 months. I know he is doing this because be has been the “baby” for so long and now we are expecting another. I am just laughing because he sat in the bathroom for 20minutes yesterday telling me that it hurts his arms to wipe himself as I told him he was a big boy and he has and can do it himself.

  23. Sarah C says:

    AAaahhh! My kids are spoiled! Where’s the ‘what you can do about it’ part? Also, they’re 2 1/2 and 4 yrs…does that matter or are they still spoiled? Help!

  24. Wow, looking at these reminds me of how spoiled I was a child….and into my 20’s. It wasn’t until I found a great husband who put me in line, that I got past most of it. Sometimes it’s still a daily struggle that I have to pray about though.

  25. I’ve been dealing with #9 a lot recently, also with a 4 year old. Your advice seems like it worked for you, but I’m wondering what you would have done that your kid “wouldn’t have been glad about” if s/he didn’t comply and buckle up. I feel like I get to this point too often and am unsure how to back up my threat. Any advice would be appreciated!

  26. This is a great list! As I was reading it I was thinking of a few adults I know that might be spoiled…. (not me of course) Lisa~

  27. Any advice for a husband who spoils?

    • I think unless you are a saint, same result. Unfortunately, spouse will get same result. Unloving, self centered spouse. We are adults now. We can see what’s going on. Do not take advantage of the ignorance of blind love. Tell your spouse, you are spoiling me. Stand up for yourself, don’t let it happen. If you think it’s not going to make you a better person talk to your spouse about it. Share this blog.

  28. As a mom of 21 years to several children, homeschooling for 6 years, I don’t and cannot completely agree with this the label of “spoiled”. I have a couple of children that fit a few of these. Those particular children are not spoiled, but “strong-willed” and it is our duty to encourage that will in a way that will glorify God. All if us let ourselves get in the way of that from time to time. While I DO agree that sometimes the label does warrant SPOILED, this is not always the case.

    If our food spoils, we don’t keep it. We throw it away. We can’t fix spoiled food. I am not really comparing children to food here because I don’t eat people. I am just trying to use an example of the definition of spoiled. We want to encourage our children. If we are following God’s will but our children’s wills are fighting, we pray, we guide them. We don’t think of them as spoiled.

    I honestly wish that label didn’t exist.

  29. This is where being a step-parent is so very difficult. My ideas of parenting are very similar to the author of this article. I only get to see my step son once a week and during the school year once a month, and I have to re-establish boundaries every time. He is an only child and his mother spoils him completely, which is up to her, however it makes my life very difficult. I have learned how to get around the begging and nagging. It was very easy with him. When we were shopping he was asking repeatedly for a box of lucky charms, because it had a toy he liked in the box. He doesn’t eat cereal and neither do we, so it would have been a waste of money. Finally I turned to him and said, “you have asked me x times and how many times have I said no? *pouting begins* I have answered you with explanations as to why I said no, so the next time you ask I am going to tell you ‘you have already asked, and I have answered.'” I only had to do it once. It has been one of the things that has stuck with him. He just turned five and we are STILL struggling (failing) at getting him to sleep by himself in his own bed. We have tried everything including just letting him cry and scream, it all ends up the same way, daddy sleeping on the floor.

    Great article though! :)

  30. Great post Connie. I think some parents need to realize that a lot of behaviors will pop up and it’s our jobs as parents to train them. They’re not just going to “get it.” Some of the training is by watching us and a lot of it is by our actions and words towards them – instructing them. :)

  31. I am doing some reading… Seeking some info on a controversial issue… Spolied or aspergers?
    I have a 9 yr old nephew and to be honest.. I think it’s a little bit aspergers and a lot spoiled.
    He definitely has all of these listed behaviors (and much worse)! He is always saying “I want”, “buy me this”, etc… He’s playing his parents! He does not listen to and actually mouths off to his father. And mom is always quick to “rescue” him.
    I know that each child is different… Especially each aspergers child. I’m very concerned. I have seen his behavior progressively get out of control. To be honest… The marriage is deteriorating and it’s obvious that is affecting his behavior!
    Another thing I feel important to note is that my nephew never misbehaves for me. Especially the way he does around his mother. If I say “no”… That’s it. He’s over it and moves on. He really does only drastically act out with mom around. Father and son (without mom around) are fine as well. It completely obvious that he knows what he can get away with around each parent. This especially tells me that he is “spoiled”!
    Any input appreciated??

  32. If only we could make this mandatory reading or anonymously send it to people:)

  33. j sotelo says:

    Does this apply to husbands as well? :)

  34. great article! :)

    …and add to the “give ur kid a gift for every occasion” the “scene-stealing-present-opener”. these kids are the worst! parents: u make everyone uncomfortable when u make excuses or think it’s cute. PICK THEM UP AND REMOVE THEM. if it’s not their party and not their gifts, it is NOT cute and u may not be invited to the next one. whats next? will the child whose party it is have to give ur child one of their gifts? WHY can’t all parents see how rude this behavior is?!?!

    and on the subject of parties–ur kids don’t need a YEARLY bday party! pick some milestones..some choices may be: 1, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 or graduation, 21. whichever u want to choose…but don’t make everyone buy ur kid stuff every year. that is for grandparents and parents–not every person u’ve/they’ve ever met.
    P.S. this will make ur life less stressful too! 😉

  35. Jennifer Jensen says:

    Wow – pretty sure you just described my brother-in-law… ugh!


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