What's the big deal about Young Living

Getting What You Pay For

Okay, it goes like this:

  1. You order a burger at a fast food restaurant that accepts special orders.
  2. You say "no onions or tomatoes".
  3. The order-taker person repeats "no onions or tomatoes" back to you.
  4. You get a burger with onions and tomatoes.

Do you take the burger back and kindly ask for what you wanted? Or are you the type that settles for what you got because you don't want to be a complainer?

Now, imagine the stakes are higher.

If you are paying hundreds of dollars for a product or service and you are not getting what is advertised, do you go to the owner and kindly request what you believed you were getting when you paid? Or do you keep your mouth shut?

I've heard the argument that Christians ought not to stir up contention when it can be avoided, so they should not complain about a product or service that doesn't meet their expectations.

I do believe that Christians ought not to stir up contention, but I also believe in being a smart consumer, and I don't think those two things have to be exclusive.

I was recently in a situation where I did in fact approach a business owner about a service that was advertised, but was not being delivered. I chose my words carefully, and commented positively on the good aspects, but then I plainly stated that I expected to be receiving what was advertised from that point forth.

It was an uncomfortable conversation for me because I like to be happy and I like other people to be happy. Part of me said that I should just overlook it, but there was another part that said if I am paying hard earned dollars for something, then it would be irresponsible of me to walk away with less than I am paying for.

I think tone of voice and attitude play a big part in whether you will be seen as hostile or gentle, but in any case, confronting a situation like this is ... confrontational.

What do you think? Should Christians avoid conflict at all costs? Is being a smart consumer important even if it involves a confrontation?

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  1. I don’t think we should be marching into businesses demanding refunds or manager’s jobs, but we don’t need to roll over and be taken advantage of, either. I’m aware this is totally out of context, but we’re also told to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves.

    Besides, you can look at it so many different ways than a confrontational situation between you and a businesss that made a mistake.

    When we started our jewelry business, one of the things (that I took to the post office to be weighed and measured) was delivered with postage due (can you tell I’m still just a little annoyed that the post office made the mistake and our customer had to pay for it?).

    Had she decided that it wasn’t that big of a deal and not told me, I wouldn’t have been able to correct it. I very much preferred the opportunity to make it right with her and correct the problem rather than have who knows how many people quietly pay the difference and not make any fuss.

    Sometimes complaints protect other people and if the business has any interest in staying in business, they very often help improve the business itself. It isn’t just about standing up for yourself.

  2. Even Jesus himself turned over the tables in the temple because He did not like what was going on there. I don’t think addressing an issue that needs to be dealt with has anything to do with being and Christian. Now of course the way you do it does have everything to do with being a Christian. I think firm but gentle wins out every time for both parties.


  3. Christians should never ever ever be doormats! We have a God-given backbone and we should use it. Otherwise the other side will always win! And then where will we be?

  4. We get breakfast at a fast food place before church each sunday. We make extra time allowance now for when they inevitably screw up our order.

    However, when I prepare to walk up to the counter with the muffin that I specified 3 times would have the substitute cheese on it, and paid an extra 80c for said substitute cheese, but does not have the substitute cheese, again. I calm my frustration before speaking.

    I don’t throw the muffin at someones head yelling ‘I told you a million times I wanted the other cheese! You’re useless, I want to speak to your manager so I can get you fired!!” I walk up and politely say, “excuse me, I ordered this with the other cheese” show them the reciept if they don’t already remember, and they get a new one made up quick. No fuss, they’re generally apologetic, and I leave with a muffin that’s actually palatable and hopefully, one day, a manager will notice the number of times this happens and do some training.

    I don’t see anything wrong with that. Jesus, nonconfrontational? As if! He showed kindness, but imagine if he never said ‘let the little children come unto me’ because it might hurt the adults feelings?

  5. Gina DeBruler says:

    If it is something small that I can correct myself (like removing the tomatoes and onions) then I don’t make a big deal about it. I’m very patient of mistakes made in restaurants because I worked in the restaurant business and I know how much those people get paid, how very hard they work, and how many orders are thrown at them at the same time.

    Now if I have paid money for something that I didn’t get, I will ask for the person to make it right. No need to get sharp-tongued or act irritated, I just explain that I didn’t get what I had paid for. Accidents happen, people forget things. I, myself, have the memory of a gnat so if it was an honest mistake then I just give the person a friendly smile and accept their apology, as I would want someone to do to me.

    I deal with deception a little differently. If I feel like me or my children (especially my children…or my grandmother!) have been cheated intentionally, then I tend to be a little more blunt and less friendly. No need for name calling or yelling, but I deal with intentional dishonesty a little more aggressively.

  6. I posted on this and the responses were varied…. I was curious when the contractors are ‘christians’ how do you handle that???


  7. I feel that it’s okay to speak up when something isn’t right but of course like you said, do so calmly and respectfully. I think it honors God to use His money wisely and make sure you’re getting what you paid for.

  8. I totally think it is about language and attitude. We would not have biblical directions on how to handle conflict if we where expected to never have conflict. When a problem arrises between Christians we are to make efforts to resolve it between ourselves and when that is not possible we are to go to our elders for resolution, not the courts. I believe that when dealing with those we don’t we are to start in the same place. Approach them. I’m not perfect but my goal when dealing with any business mistake is calm even tone, and polite but firm language. If needed I repeat myself, repeatedly, LOL. If my point doesn’t seem to be made I start from the beginning and use language like I was speaking with a Kindergartner. And always when approaching a business about a mistake or problem, state clearly what you want or expect as resolution. Ideally courts are to avoided, but we are banned from it. Remember in Jesus’s time and that of early Christians the courts would not have been favorable to them, we are blessed that for the most part our courts are fair.

  9. Sorry that should have said we are NOT banned from using coarts for resolution.
    For example if someone steals from me, yes I am turn the other cheek and not go for “getting even”. But I can report the theft and I can press charges. Turning the other cheek to me means no violence or ugliness, and to pray for the one doing wrong, it does not mean letting them get away with what ever they want.

  10. I am by nature a nonconfrontational person. Sometimes to a fault, because I think there are times when we need to be able to step on a toe here or there for the sake of the gospel. The examples I am thinking of are more along the lines of standing up for our family’s beliefs and decisions when they are questioned by some of our extended family who are not as spiritually minded. Basically, not being afraid to believe you are right about something. As far as dealing with businesses, I usually fix the error myself if I can and move on. But once you’re dealing with big money, there comes a point where you would not be a good steward of your blessing of money to not address the issue.

  11. I do believe you should ask others to honor their commitments. Seems odd that a commitment is what is made when you are driving through your local burger joint but it is. You commit to pay for what you have ordered. They commit to give you what you have paid for. That commitment is a vow and a vow given by word or handshake is a vow given before the Lord. So yes, I do believe we should speak up. In speaking up, that does not mean we need to get boisterous and obnoxious, but it does mean expecting the other party to fufill their commitment and holding them to it. How we handle this speaks loads to the type of person we are. After all..you catch more bees with sugar then you do with lemons.

  12. Jules Green says:

    my opinion/thoughts on this subject are these:
    I think the example you set with your words and attitude when speaking to the business were correct and good. However, how far we pursue the matter is another story. Yes, Jesus did overthrow those tables in the temple, which inevitable caused quite a scene, I’m not sure that can be used as a good paralel, here. He didn’t MAKE the pharisees (or anyone for that matter) do anything they didn’t want to do. He didn’t force people into action with his demands that they change, pay up, pay back. It still is people’s choice in how they conduct their business, and if it is practiced badly, then the word will get out. The fruit they bear/don’t bear will show itself, it always does :) Its not for us to make them pay through means of the court systems ( suing, ect). Give them the opportunity to see the error of their ways, give them an opportunity to be gracious and humble, serving others as they said they would. But ultimately? Drop it before it becomes a thorn/splinter. Be willing to let it go as graciously as you would want to be handled if God called YOU on something. Set the example :) After all, is not God our provider? Do not all our provisions come from Him? As well as our value and worth? Who cares if that makes us look weak to the world, God will fight on our behalf the injustices:) Us taking it into our hand takes it out of His.

  13. I’ve heard that argument also, and with scripture as our guide, we know that truth is as important as grace. We are to be wise stewards, and our first line of action when we are wronged is to always go to those who wronged us and give them the opportunity to make it right. If they refuse, deny, or think it is no big deal, we are free to ask for a refund, boycott, tell everyone we know about the lousy service, etc. without fear of spreading slander and libel, that is, as long as we don’t inflate the story. We live in this world and should spread light. Truth is light, and exposes darkness. Sometimes that is just the motivation a business needs to improve their service or product. Yes, of course we behave in a self controlled manner while doing this.

  14. There needs to be a balance. We’re supposed to be good stewards of our money and we’re supposed to have grace. There is a difference between being nitpicky and being taken advantage of. You have to look at each situation individually to decide if it’s better to let it go or politely talk to the business. For us, there is a huge difference in how we handle situations between the local business owned by the guy who lives down the street and our cell phone carrier.

  15. Philippians 2:3-4 ” Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interest of others.”

    Treat others the way that you want to be treated. If I screw something up, which happens on a regular basis, it can either be something we laugh about or everyone can be ugly with each other, it is the attitude that makes the difference. All that said, I generally let the little things go, or things that I can take care of (except for mayonnaise at restaurants, I just cannot eat that and ALWAYS ask for NO mayonnaise), but for high dollar issues or bills that have errors etc, I have found that if your are gracious and come into it asking for clarification, most people are reasonable and want to please the customer. I had one VERY large exception to that on my front loading washer, but that was not the person on the phone’s fault. At the grocery, if they are debating a coupon or something, I have found that if I state my case, then remain quiet, they almost always figure it out without a scene and everyone is happy. A little self depreciating humor and friendliness go a LONG way, put yourself in their shoes, these are not high paying jobs and they have a LOT that they have to put up with……as for comparison to Jesus Christ, I just cannot really go there because He had PERFECT wisdom and discernment and NEVER sinned, my flesh is weak and wants its own way and I want to be right more than I want to be HOLY sometimes, well a lot of the time…….

  16. i think we should let the “offender” know what they did “wrong” and ask that they fix it. we don’t need to yell and scream or throw things around. BUT if we pay for something we should get it :)

  17. I just went through this at our dealership. I took in our van for a possible recall and also mentioned that we needed to buy a certain part. I mentioned that if they could fix said part for a certain price ($100) that I would be fine with that, but if not I would just buy the part. (I have a BIL that is a mechanic, thankfully.) They wrote that on the ticket and I left. When they called later to tell me the cost of the part was $100 they also told me that it would be $287 total to fix the van at their shop. I kindly declined their offer to fix it but did request the part. Then the man told me the total would be $180 for the part and diagnostic testing. I prayed about this all night. I had not asked them to test it. I had asked to buy the part and if they could fix it for said amount to do it. Since the part cost said amount I felt that it was their bad judgement call to “test” it. The next morning when I went to settle I explained this clearly and calmly, trying not to sound too critical of their judgement. I explained that we didn’t have anymore than $100 for the part and labor and that is why I didn’t want them to fix it if it would be more. They were gracious and did not continue to demand the “diagnostic” test fee. If I had not made clear what I expected and could afford I would never have contested it. And yes, if they make a mistake with my food order I take it back. Even if I could remove it myself. I want them to notice if they are not being careful in their work. I was on the other side once too and I didn’t mind being corrected as long as the person was nice about it.