What's the big deal about Young Living

It’s All About Me, Only Not

Have you ever been horribly offended at something you heard or read? I know I have.

After I had one of my miscarriages, it would hurt my feelings so to hear someone say that they would be horrified if they found out they were pregnant again. I would have given anything to be pregnant and I couldn't understand why anyone would be so insensitive as to talk of dreading a pregnancy.

During the months following my father's accidental death, I felt a stabbing pain whenever the grocery checker would flippantly say it was so hot she thought she would die. Didn't she know I had just buried my daddy and he really had died? It wasn't just an exaggerated figure of speech. It was a horrible reality.

The truth is I'm sure she really didn't know anything about what had happened in my life that year. In fact, I didn't know anything about her either.

I have found that when I am frequently offended, it is usually because I am too self focused.

If I open my eyes and look up and out at the big wide world, I find that there is a lot going on out there that has nothing to do with me.

Imagine that! 

It's not all about me.

Have you ever been offended or offended someone when the issue may have been too much self focus?

  • Share This:
  • Share on Facebook
  • Share on Twitter


  1. Has this happened to me? Far too many times! Even more so, I’ve seen it happen to loved ones who eventually pushed everyone away.

    I really needed to read this tonight. I was literally just having a pity party a few hours ago. After that I took something my husband said the wrong way. I was praying and felt as though God was trying to speak to me… and then I saw your Twitter update and felt led to click the link. Thank you for letting God use you tonight! I needed this!

  2. wow! perfect timing for me to read this. needed it! thanks so much!

  3. I don’t feel offended, but hurt when people who know my history refer to my step-mom as my mom (who passed away). I know it’s not intentional. I really just have to focus on not making it all about “ME” and being gracious to others.

  4. This is so true! I need to remember this ALL the time.

    I know a few people who would make wonderful parents and can’t seem to get pregnant or have health issues preventing it. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? Then you hear of people trying so hard not to get pregnant. You wonder, what’s up? (Off the point. Sorry)

    I know I do feel offended quite often by the words my husband can say. Inside, I know it wasn’t intentional. Train myself, train myself. It’s not about me!


  5. My husband and I are going through a financial struggle right now, as I know you are. I am very sensitive about money right now.

    Like recently, husband sold air purifiers and stuff to a woman that heard what she wanted to hear as far as the price went, and then balked at the register because she wanted a lower price. She only got the deal that they had been willing to give. Then she directed my husband to her Jaguar to put her purchases in!

    Seriously?! You want an unreasonable deal on the backs of people that make about $9-$10 an hour, and then you are directing them to your Jag?

    We’ve been through 2 layoffs and a bankruptcy (after layoff #1) in less than 5 years. As a Christian, I try to let this go, but it’s hard when you are hurting in the midst of people that don’t seem to have a clue what financial struggle is about. They live in a totally different world!

    I feel more comfortable visiting with the poor and homeless at my church than most of the affluent members there. It helps me to put things into perspective. God IS providing! It could be SO much worse! Praise God for all that He provides!

  6. My spouse has metastatic breast cancer and someone was talking about the woes of the world (catastrophic weather, famine, war etc) and indicated that she was perhaps LUCKY that she won’t have to put up with that much longer. Really?

    • Nelly you HAVE to be kidding! Someone actually said that to you? And they are still standing????? Not sure I could have held back on that one!

  7. A very wise (and handsome) man (hubby :) ) has told me many, many times that the key of the Christian life is to die. Die to self every single day. A dead man has no rights. And as Christians, we die to our selves and live unto Christ. We offer ourselves a living sacrifice to Him. And when people do hurt or offend us, which will happen, again and again and again, the key is simply to forgive. As Christ forgave us. Lately, this past year, I’ve asked the Lord to show me my own sinfulness and weaknesses more. Oh boy! He has been answering that one and I feel so unusable. And then He reminds me that it is all Him and not me! And that is just how it needs to be.

  8. Sooooo true, can’t tell ya how many times, I look back on a situation and say, HMMMM, maybe it wasn’t about me (getting what I want, or looking good or showing hospitality or getting something done)………great post, one of those “well duh”, things that we need every day

    Still praying for you and unemployment saga…………hard to not be focused on self and the immediate with what you are going through and yet you are blessing us through that, hang in there…………..

  9. Oh wow Connie, that is SO true. Thanks for that incredible insight.

  10. So true.
    My mom often said, “Do not be a thief. Do not take offence when none is given.”

    That being said, there are times (like battling infertility or a miscarriage) where one is naturally more sensitive because one is grieving. That doesn’t make the person self-absorbed, just hurting. IT’s good to stand back and think about the context in which the remark was given, but it doesn’t automatically make you sinful because you felt a bit hurt at something carelessly said.

  11. This is great timing! Thank you have have been dwelling on the something mother-in-law says to me about once a month. We struggle a little financially, and we have 2 children (we don’t use birth control, so they were both planned by God, but not us). She keeps saying things about how happy she is and we should be that we are not pregnant. I try to give it to God every time she says it, but it does get difficult sometimes. Thank you for your post :)

  12. Wow, did this smack me between the eyes this morning! How often have I felt this way? Am I hugely selfish or what? I’ll be ‘chewing’ on this for awhile. Thanks for the insight!

  13. Well, I wouldn’t say I get offended, exactly, but it does make me aware of how carelessly we sometimes use language. Last November when my twins were born, I went into heart failure with a rare heart condition called peripartum cardiomyopathy. Even in my that first week in the hospital, I told my husband something “hurt my heart” and he panicked, thinking I meant literally! I’m sensitive to when people say things like “You almost gave me a heart attack!” or “You broke my heart!”. Not offended, but sensitive.

  14. After 15 years of infertility I have had my share of rude and insensitive remarks. I wish I could say I have handled each one well… I cannot… But I can say that now I am able to respond with less snarkiness than I once did. :)

    Still praying for a baby…

  15. Oh I know this truth well. Thank you for your words, Connie.