What's the big deal about Young Living

4 Moms Discuss Spending Time With Husbands

This week the 4 Moms are discussing how each of us manages to spend time with our husbands while sticking to a tight budget.

And by that, I don't mean how each of us spends time with all of the 4 Moms' husbands, because that would be... weird. 

And I don't mean how each of us spends time with our multiple husbands, because that would be... illegal.

What I mean is that we are discussing how each of one of us manages to spend time with HER OWN husband.

Sheesh! I wish you people would stay on topic here!

So, anyway, here's the deal. I have a lot of people living in my house. A lot of people who want my attention. My husband also wants my attention and it so happens that I enjoy having his attention as well.

Because of the people I mentioned above, we have to purpose to make time to spend together.  And since the money tree in our backyard isn't in bloom right now, we can't break the bank doing it.

Here are some of the things we do to have uninterrupted time together without spending a lot of money:

  • Now that we have a couple of teenagers who can keep an eye on the littles if we aren't there, my husband and I will sometimes run out the door together and make a trip to the bank or the post office a miniature date. When you have this many kids, you learn to multi-task.
  • After the children have gone to bed, we watch a movie together or go over dreams and plans for some project we are working on or just talk about our day.
  • Occasionally, we take advantage of my husband's work related dinners to have a date night. Again our big kids babysit.
  • When our kids were younger, we took advantage of generous offers for free babysitting from friends. These opportunities were rare, but we never said "no" if someone offered. Once, the friendly teller at our small town bank commented on how adorable and well behaved our kids were and said she wouldn't mind babysitting if we ever wanted to have a dinner date one night. I was just about to politely decline when my husband interrupted me to say, "That would be GREAT! How about Friday night?!" I believe she was just as surprised as I was, but she showed up at our house promptly on Friday night and we went out to dinner and thoroughly enjoyed it!
  • We have gone to the library or book stores to sit and read together.
  • When we only had young children they all had a very strict 8:30 bedtime. This left at least an hour every evening before we collapsed when we could talk together, watch a movie, make plans for the future, etc.
  • Going for a walk around the block while the kids watch a short video is something else we have done to sneak in some uninterrupted discussion time.
  • This past summer, I came to be in possession of a restaurant gift card, and I am only slightly embarrassed to tell you that we dropped our kids off at VBS and headed straight to the restaurant without looking back. We enjoyed our free dinner alone and only lightly heckled the other couple from church we saw who had done the same thing.
  • Our church has a babysitting co-op where couples take turns babysitting while the others get a date night. We do not participate because our teenagers are capable babysitters, but this would be a good option for people with only young children.

I think spending time with your husband is important, but I don't think this has to be done in any elaborate or expensive way. I happen to personally know that a happily married couple can go for months at a time without having a date night except for the kind that happens on the living room couch, planning the next week's fishing trip, after the kids have been tucked into bed.

At this point in our parenting journey we do not go on overnight trips together without our children like many of our friends do. Although, I think this sounds like it would be a refreshing and wonderful time to spend together, it is not a necessity. I will not perish or suffer any harm if I never get to do this until all my children are grown.

Be sure to check out what the other Moms are saying about spending time with husbands.

Have you seen these 4 Moms posts?

Upcoming 4 Moms topics:

7th Husbands and Homeschooling
14th- Breakfasts
21st- Germ Warfare
28th- Questions for the Four Moms (Leave your questions in the comments or email me!)

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  1. I really, REALLY appreciate this post. My husband and I are at the stage where we have four young children (the oldest is 7). We almost never go out on dates and we’ve never spent the night away from them. We don’t have family around who help us regularly and we don’t have people knocking down our door to babysit. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing the right thing for our marriage based on other people’s opinions. Its refreshing to know that there are others whose marriages are still in tact doing the same thing. :)

  2. We have early bedtime for our kids and this leaves an hour or so each night for hubby and I to relax together. I also have a personal rule that I am not on the computer at night when hubby is home. This means that he gets my undivided attention.

    We also did something drastic: we purposely moved back closer to my in-laws so that we would have babysitting available when we need it.

    We do go away without kids for a weekend when we can, though sometimes I have to bring a nursing baby along. For us, these mini-vacations away and alone without the kids is definitely a necessity.

  3. I remember when we had only littles, and our date night consisted of a rented movie and a pint of Ben-n-Jerry’s! We also still considered it a date if we had a baby with us, or if we were just going to the grocery store together. Some people will try to make you feel guilty for not getting out every week! We learned to ignore them, and find creative ways to spend time together without actually going out, or spending money.

  4. Thanks for this post, as well as the other posts in this series. Our oldest is now 9, and it’s amazing what a difference it makes once they start to get a little bit older!

    I would love to see a post on lunches. For some reason, lunch is the hardest meal of the day for me to prepare. Maybe I should do some sort of once-a-month cooking just for lunch meals, I don’t know. I do know that while I make glorious (or at least adequate) breakfasts from scratch, and usually feel like I have the whole dinner thing nailed down, lunch leaves me scratching my head. I think part of it is that I don’t want to spend too much money on lunch, nor do I have much time in the middle of the homeschooling day to put together a “real” meal…yet I like to feed my family, and want to feed them well. Ideas from the four of you would be greatly appreciated!

  5. Rebecca Miller says:

    Our son is nearly 11 years old and big for his age. the teen age girls we had babysitting were not cutting it when he was often taller than them. so we had had a netflix mebership for a long time at 2 movies at a time we uped it to 4 for just $10.00 more a month (half of 1 night for a sitter) give him the little DVD player and dinner on a special tray and send him to his room for the night. We don’t normally watch a lot of TV and movies so he gets really excited about his once a week date night and so do we.

  6. Having a teenager REALLY makes a difference! Having to pay a sitter for 4 children gets very expensive, so we went without dates for quite some time. Now, we can go to a restaurant nearby (we live right in the middle of our small town) and know that the kids are fine. We usually pay the big kids a couple of dollars each for babysitting, and if possible, have a movie ready for them to watch that they haven’t seen before (or at least in a long time). It’s getting easier!

  7. I’m sorry. This is off topic, but when I read, “7th Husbands and Homeschooling,” I nearly laughed out loud.

    I’m thoroughly enjoying this series you all are doing. I don’t have a huge family yet, but I’m hoping for it. I’m learning lots from you all.

  8. This is something that scares me, with out first child on the way how our relationship will change. We aren’t likely to accept many offers to babysit as most of our friends, while great people, are non-christians with quite different views to us on whats appropriate for a child to see/hear, or 20 year olds whos babysitting experience is with siblings, and older ones at that. I believe by the time my eldest BIL was old enough to babysit, his youngest brother was already 6 or 7 and 4 more kids between them to help. We also suspect there is going to be a lack of babysitting offers from older family members for an assortment of reasons.

    But hey, I’m creative 😀 We’ll just make the most of the ones we do trust who offer lol.

  9. I agree that overnights are totally not a necessity. We did maybe three overnights in the first 20 years of marriage. How do people think marriages survived for millenia?

  10. Great ideas!! We have the early bedtime for the kids & once a week I keep dinner for us til they are in bed & then we either chat or watch a movie!
    I think it’s about making the most of the small opportunities!

  11. Thanks for sharing your own struggles with spending time with your husband. My husband and I are both reading the power of the praying wife/husband and it has been a real eye opener. We are now both trying to put each other second to God. Your “date” suggestions were great!