Before I tell you all about our extremely torturous, eternal trip to the Super Center, you need to know that when I blog about how to get your baby to sleep through the night, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE LADY WITH ALL THE KIDS!! Apparently, I have no idea what I am talking about, because you see, the baby who is on the brink of being 7 months old DOESN'T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!
Not only does she wake during the night, but she wakes NUMEROUS times and expects to be cuddled back to sleep. This has never happened with any of our other babies and I'm working on resolving this issue ASAP because, have I mentioned that I need sleep?
The night before last, I stopped counting how many times the baby woke up crying after the NINTH time! Needless to say, I stumbled through the day in a droopy-eyed stupor.
Do you know the feeling when you have been jumping on a trampoline for a while and then you get off, but nobody told your legs? And they feel like they are made of jelly? Yes? That's the feeling I had all day, but it wasn't from jumping on a trampoline. It was from the extensive wakefulness the night before.
So, naturally I thought it would be a good time to take all seven kids to Wal Mart at about 4:00 in the afternoon because that's when they are extremely busy and my energy reserves were running on fumes.
It should have been a clue that this wasn't the brightest idea I have ever had when I told everyone to get their shoes on and I could hear lots of emptying of piggy banks and loans being made and pay backs being negotiated.
When we got there, the 4 oldest asked if they could take a buggy to the pet department to look at the fish. I told them they could and then to meet me in the diaper aisle when they were done. I picked up some diapers and looked for some size 2T panties. (Why can't I find those extra thick training panties?) I settled on some flowery ones and the 2 year old was thrilled to hold them and chatter constantly about her new panties.
We met up a little while later and I saw that their buggy was full of two bags of fish, a tank, an air pump, and lots of plants and gravel. When I looked at them questioningly, they all started jabbering about who was paying for what and assured me that they were using their own money.
Since I was too tired to
argue with them discuss the matter, I consented with a wave of my hand and we headed to the check out, me pushing the 3 little ones strapped in to the Ultimate Shopping Buggy That Is Very Difficult To Navigate, and them trailing behind with their buggy full of fish stuff.
Of course there were only 4 lanes open with several people lined up in each.
When we finally got to the counter, an extremely young lady, who looked to be about 14, was our checker and while she rang up my purchases this was our conversation:
Her: Are these ALL your kids?
Her: 1,2,3,4,5,6... WHOA! You have 6 kids?
Me: You miscounted. I have 7.
Her: Are you going to have any more?
Me: Only time will tell.
Her: YOU MEAN YOUR TUBES AREN'T TIED YET?
Me: (Suddenly feeling even more tired than I was before) No.
Her: ****** (Uses the Lord's name in vain) I would DIE!
In the meantime, she had finished ringing up my purchases and had moved on to the fish buggy. Of course, these had to be rung up in 4 separate transactions because everyone had their own money.
I had to remind a certain someone for the 17th time that when we pay for an item, we don't hand the bills over in a wad. We unfold them and count them out in an orderly fashion.
As soon as we took one step away from the line with our purchases, MaddieLynn said, "Mommy, I think she rang up the air pump twice. Look at this receipt." I quickly saw that she was right, so I had my son, who had paid for it, step back to the counter to tell her.
She informed us that she was real sorry, and all, but we would have to go to the Customer Service counter (where there was ANOTHER line!) to get a refund.
I asked MaddieLynn why she hadn't said anything at the time she noticed the double charge, and that angel of a daughter said that she hadn't wanted to HURT THE GIRL'S FEELINGS! I may have mumbled something at that point about my feelings and that girl's manners, but I can't remember just what.
Are you thinking this story is mercifully nearing an end? Yes, I was too, but alas! It was not to be.
When we were in line, I realized that I hadn't paid for the panties because the 2 yr. old had been clutching them the entire time, so they had never made it onto the check out stand.
Fortunately, and this may have had something to do with the desperate, wild look in my eyes and the tick I had developed in my left cheek, the Customer Service Lady was more than glad to let me pay for the panties at her counter.
The moral of this story, friends, is this. It is never a good idea to go to the Wal Mart Super Center with 7 children at 4 in the afternoon to make 5 separate purchases.
And if you do, at least have the presence of mind to remember to bring the baby's pacifier.
Because if you don't, you will regret it deeply.